NEW YORK, NY - Security footage newly uncovered by Special Counsel Durham shows Hillary Clinton sneaking into the Trump Tower server room to steal campaign secrets and plant incriminating links to Russia.
In the shocking surveillance video, Hillary is seen dropping down from the ceiling to avoid high-tech laser sensors and the motion-activated floor alarm. She appears to plug a miniature keyboard into a terminal and executes a command script to presumably scramble the server with Russian propaganda. The footage cuts out when Clinton appears to notice the camera and targets it with a portable EMP device.
"The video was lost until now," claimed a federal agent who spoke to the press on condition of anonymity. "We had to piece the footage together from damaged data, but we now know for sure that Hillary Rodham Clinton was involved in spying on Trump." As soon as he finished speaking, several red laser dots appeared on his forehead and he recanted his statement.
Clinton, who appeared feeble during her presidential run, is seen performing a number of graceful acrobatic moves on the tape.
"I was right. Of course, I was right. I always am," said former president Trump. "I am completely and totally vindicated. Hillary Clinton is a criminal and a fat loser and I should have locked her up when I had the chance. What a shame! Too bad!"
As a result of the devastating revelation, the former senator and first lady will be facing no consequences of any kind.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
