New Mortal Kombat Game Reveals All Fatalities Are Brought On By Climate Change
Entertainment · Sep 14, 2023 · BabylonBee.com

CHICAGO — NeartherRealm Studios announced that their newest installment in the popular Mortal Kombat franchise, aptly titled Mortal Kombat 1, will reveal that all fatalities are the product of man-made climate change.

The climate crisis — as fire god Liu Kang calls it — is inevitable, and the only thing humans can do to end the gradual fluctuation of temperature in Earthrealm is to kill each other.

"Fatalities are an act of mercy," game director Ed Boon told video game magazine Press The Button Monthly. "No one should have to live in a world in which climate change is a daily reality. That's why the Mortal Kombat tournament was first created by the Elder Gods: to reduce the carbon footprint of humans by murdering them."

But in Mortal Kombat 1, the timeline has been reset — again — so that Liu Kang can get a jumpstart on human killing with climate activist Greta Thunberg. Unlike other fighters, Thunberg will destroy her enemies with scolding, shaming, and her classic "How-Dare-Youken" move.

In contrast to previous titles, Mortal Kombat 1 is rated "E for Everyone" because even if you rip someone's spinal cord out of their body, you didn't really kill them — the climate did.

Mortal Kombat 1 is scheduled for release on September 19th. As a pre-order bonus, all characters will preach sermons about climate change during unskippable cutscenes that will periodically interrupt the gameplay.


When guns are finally banned in the coming utopia, you may still need to defend yourself on the rare occasion.

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