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New Evidence Suggests Paul, Barnabas Parted Ways Over Pronunciation Of 'GIF'

ISRAEL—New research has suggested that Paul and Barnabas parted ways over the pronunciation of the word "GIF."

Paul the Apostle thought the word was pronounced "gif," like a normal person would say it, while Barnabas insisted on pronouncing it "jif," like a psycho, according to scholars.

"It would appear that Paul was showing Barnabas his favorite animated image from The Office and said, 'Hey, Barnie, check out this sweet gif!'" said Dr. Lindon Von Lindon, a top biblical scholar in the field of New Testament textual research. "Then, Barnabas said, 'What, you mean 'jif'?" 

The apostles' fight escalated from there. At one point, Paul went out into the crowd that had gathered and grabbed a steel chair to break over Barnabas's head, prompting one of the disciples to yell, "OH MY WORD IT'S PAUL WITH THE STEEL CHAIR OUT OF NOWHERE!" Barnabas fought back by chucking Paul off a steel cage and right through the announcer's table.

The two never reconciled over the dispute, according to experts, choosing instead to do ministry separately than to spread the gospel side by side with someone who can't even pronounce GIF correctly (you know, like gift or gills).

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