ALAS! This Dad's Kids Moved Out And Now He Doesn’t Have Anyone To Yell At For Leaving Lights On
Family · Mar 4, 2025 · BabylonBee.com

GREAT BEND, KS — The adage that old age is not for the faint of heart has never been truer than it is now for Peter Crest. A father with no children in the house, Crest has slipped into a deep depression because there's no one around to yell at about leaving the lights on around the house anymore.

According to sources, Crest still gets up in the middle of the night to yell at his children, but there's no one there to answer.

"This house is an empty black tomb of completely turned-off lights," Crest was heard saying while walking the house one night.

Sheila Crest, Peter's wife and mother to three grown children, has had her own issues adjusting to life in an empty nest, but says she's more concerned about her husband.

"Yelling at the kids to turn off the lights meant everything to him," she said. "What's he supposed to do now? Relax and enjoy life? That was his life."


Mr. Crest is just one of many empty nesters who suffer from being unable to yell at kids for leaving the lights on. Crest's specific condition is recognized by the American Psychological Association as a phenomenon common with empty nesters.

Sources say Crest can be heard at night, walking the darkened halls and wailing in anguish.

At publishing time, Peter Crest began leaving the lights on around the house so he could feel like his kids were near.


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