PARIS — Following a fatal knife attack by a self-proclaimed jihadist in Arras, France, the leaders of Western nations wondered if there would ever be some sort of way to physically stop jihadists from entering their borders.
This call to figure out some solution to borders that felt so open comes as Hamas calls on all members of "the religion of peace" to be really violent.
"It is heartbreaking to hear that a known Muslim agitator snuck into a country by surreptitious means of easily walking in without anything in his way," said Dr. Richard Snibbs of the think tank Center for Finding Ways to Secure Borders of Countries. "So far no one has found a way to stop bad people from going to places where good people live."
"We may never find a solution."
The United Nations has created a new committee for discovering how to stop a person from setting foot in a place they're not welcome, titled The Committee for Discovering How to Stop a Person from Setting Foot in a Place They're Not Welcome. UN Secretary-General António Guterres expressed confidence in the committee after seeing them donning lab coats and staring at a country's border, deep in thought.
At publishing time, the nations had decided that borders were kinda mean and discriminatory and had chosen instead to end jihadist terrorism by normalizing it.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
