U.S. — As negotiations to raise the debt ceiling continue, American citizens are beginning to wonder how the federal government being unable to borrow trillions more dollars is some kind of crisis.
"Could you explain to me again how this is bad?" asked business owner Josiah Smith. "The media keeps saying this is heading toward some type of horrible catastrophe, but if the government isn't able to borrow more money to burn on stupid stuff or send to Ukraine, I'm kinda on board with it."
The Biden administration has been engaging in negotiations with congressional leaders for several weeks in an attempt to raise the debt ceiling and avoid defaulting on the national debt, which the media has indicated would be a disaster of epic proportions. "It would literally end the world," said Professor Blake Rumsey, spokesman for the Center for Why Stuff Matters. "If the debt ceiling is not raised immediately, it could potentially open a tear in the space-time continuum. If you've heard the explanation from Doc Brown in the Back to the Future films, you know that's a bad thing."
For everyday Americans, however, hearing the government is currently blocked from borrowing any more money is giving them peace of mind. "I've been sleeping much better," Smith said. "Knowing my leaders aren't able to continue digging us into a financial hole my great-great-great-grandchildren will never get us out of is a load off my mind."
At publishing time, the world had not yet ended and no rips had been reported in the space-time continuum…yet.
Here is a comprehensive list of the only instances it is acceptable for men to shed a tear.