Nation In Mourning As Government Shutdown Averted
U.S.

U.S.—Americans are mourning today after the Senate announced they have agreed on a deal to continue funding the government for a few more months. 

"Why? Why? Why? Why can't they just shut down and leave us alone?" said everyone. "All we wanted was a shutdown for a few months to give us a little break, maybe a forever shutdown. That would have been nice. Now our hopes and dreams are shattered."

"Yay! We funded the government!" said the government. "Now you don't have to worry about us leaving ever again! Will be with you forever and ever and ever!" 

Everyone groaned in response and went to Cabelas to buy more ammo. 

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