U.S.—Millions of Americans cried out in terror as Friends left Netflix, forcing them to watch good shows for a change.
Depressed that their favorite terrible show was taken off the streaming service, viewers resigned themselves to watching shows with good characters, quality writing, and funny jokes instead.
"Well, now that Friends is off Netflix, I guess I have to watch something good like The Office or Parks & Recreation," said one woman in Nashville. "It's a bummer that I have to give up watching a show with terrible, unlikeable characters, forced punchlines, and cringe-inducing story arcs, but nothing lasts forever, I suppose."
"And just how on earth am I ever going to find a character as annoying as Ross? You just can't compete with that. So, I guess it's onto something good instead."
People deprived of Friends were forced instead to stream Arrested Development, The Good Place, and Seinfeld. Some even turned to quality dramas like Breaking Bad. Many started watching Sherlock, amazed that a show could be witty and have a good plotline, until the later seasons, which are as bad as Friends.
The wives of the nation announced they would just continue rewatching Gilmore Girls for the 78th time.
Breaking: PayPal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered PayPal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added PayPal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.