WASHINGTON D.C. — In a momentous announcement from NASA headquarters, NASA officials have committed to planting a Pride flag on the moon by the year 2030.
"We want to let everyone traveling the galaxy know that the Earth and its moon are home to all sorts of weird sex stuff," said NASA administrator Bill Nelson. "That moon is going to be so gay when we're through with it. This is why NASA was founded to begin with."
According to sources inside NASA, the astronaut program is also actively recruiting super gay astronauts who want to go for a romantic moonwalk. "The moon has been stuck in a racist and homophobic past for too long," said NASA director Stan Maddow. "Our gay astronauts look forward to christening the gay moon with the very first gay moon orgy. It's time to bring the light of pride, debauchery, and monkeypox out into a dark universe."
Despite the excitement around the project, some Americans have voiced their displeasure with the plans. "I heard they're painting the lunar roadways with rainbows and planting a box set of Will and Grace into the surface," bemoaned local plumber Darrell Price. "Why can't we just go do man things, like collect some rocks? It's not right. My moon ain't gay!"
At publishing time, NASA had planned 43 more trips to the moon to update the Pride flag every time another oppressed sexual minority got a stripe.
Their culture is not your costume. DO NOT appropriate ghost, zombie, or vampire culture this Halloween.