US - Across the country, a "mysterious leap" was reportedly felt in the wombs of millions of women which experts say may be linked to the recent SCOTUS decision which overturned Roe v. Wade, rendering abortion no longer a protected federal procedure.
The feeling of unbridled excitement emanating from the womb was said to have occurred simultaneously across the country as a million unborn children seemed to cry out all at once in joy.
"Weird," said Dr. Menantee, the nation's leading obstetrician. "A fetus seemingly expressing joy shouldn't be possible since we all know they are nothing more than parasitic cell clumps that make women fat. These reports seem to suggest some sort of sentience..."
Dr. Menantee broke off his sentence and stared thoughtfully at the heavens for a moment as if contemplating the meaning of life and his role in the grand scheme of things.
"Nah, that couldn't be it," he laughed nervously.
At publishing time, sources had confirmed the leaps of joy weren't felt in about half the states, most notably California and New York.
Watch as a fired Twitter employee applies for her first *actual* job: