Menu Anxiety And 13 Other Very Real Anxieties Gen Z Faces
Life · Dec 20, 2023 · BabylonBee.com

Thanks to a study that went viral on social media, the world learned this past week about 'menu anxiety' - which is apparently the fear of having to order food off a menu. As it turns out, the vast majority of Generation Z suffers from menu anxiety. Sad!

Choosing food cooked for you from a pre-determined menu is, sadly, not the only deep terror plaguing young Americans. Here are 13 more very real anxieties Gen Z faces:

  1. Talking To A Person Anxiety: When you have to talk to a person. In person!
  2. GIF Anxiety: When you can't figure out what GIF to send a friend. Or how to pronounce GIF.
  3. Breathing Anxiety: When you have to breathe to stay alive.
  4. Anxiety Anxiety: When you're not currently anxious about something and that makes you anxious.
  5. Large Mackerel Anxiety: When you're worried there is a large mackerel somewhere in your vicinity.
  6. Netflix Anxiety: When you can't decide between two extremely dark series both guaranteed to only last two seasons.
  7. Everything Is Cancer Anxiety: When everything you ever feel, like slight bloating after eating six tamales, is a sure sign of cancer.
  8. Snowflake Anxiety: When you are anxious about snow because any movement could destroy a unique, delicate snowflake.
  9. Latte anxiety: When you're in the line at Starbucks and you really want a caramel soy latte but eesh, maybe you want a peppermint one and oh shoot you can't remember what Venti means and everyone's staring at you.
  10. Where Is My Phone Anxiety: REEEEE!!!!!!
  11. Duck Face Anxiety: When your picture was taken but you're not sure if your face looked enough like a duck. Applies to girls only.
  12. Annihilation Anxiety: When you don't believe in God, so you think death is the end of your consciousness rendering all of life terrifying and devoid of meaning. Whoa!
  13. Things Aren't Free Anxiety: When you are confronted with things you might have to work for to obtain.

Pray for Gen Z, people!


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