U.S. - The media launched an all-out assault on the Trump campaign this week, accusing the president of forcing the media to tear the country apart. According to critics in the media, Trump has forced everyone in the media to sow seeds of hatred, anxiety, racial tension, and mass panic for almost four years now, and they are really mad at him for making them do that. 

"Listen, we'd love nothing more than to unite the country and inform her citizens with honest news," said CNN president Jeff Zucker. "But then, Trump became the president and we didn't like that. We didn't like that at all," Zucker continued, as emotion began to show in his eyes. "Trump forced our hand on this! We didn't want to whip our nation into a fit of chaotic hysteria, but what choice did we have? LOOK WHAT YOU MADE US DO, DONALD TRUMP!" Zucker then collapsed in a sobbing fit on the ground.

Other media outlets piled on the president, accusing him of forcing the media to become the "darkest, most divisive media in all of history." CNN, along with 52 other news outlets, have signed a letter promising to return to honesty and civility once Trump is out of office.