NICEVILLE, FL — A local man was confronted with an uncomfortable reality today, as after spending his entire life thinking he had grown up poor, he suddenly realized that his dad was just a cheapskate.
According to Jackson Grey, his family's purported financial status had always been a painful part of his upbringing. He was floored to learn that his dad had, in fact, had a well-paying, stable job the entire time and was just a world-class tightwad.
"We used to stuff our pockets full of napkins and plastic utensils at fast food restaurants," Grey recalled, shaking his head. "Dad used to have us eat sardines for lunch at school. I thought we were living in abject poverty the whole time. Just imagine how betrayed I felt when Dad told us all that he'd just been saving up for a beachside condo all those years."
Grey further recalled the hardships he and his siblings endured while believing the family was destitute. "We wore shoes from Walmart. We re-used bath water growing up. Some nights we weren't even allowed to turn the light on. We just sat in the dark. We all understood that this was just the way things were. It was hard, but we were ok with it. Now we know Dad was just pinching pennies. I just wish I could've had a Playstation like all the other kids in my class."
At publishing time, Grey had found himself questioning whether or not Velveeta sandwiches really were his mother's "trademark recipe."
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