Man Who Hasn't Attended Live Meeting In Two Years Loses All Ability To Mask Facial Expressions When Idiots Are Speaking
Life ยท Feb 1, 2022

CUPERTINO, CA - Local employee James Businesberg sat down for a live in-person sales meeting on Monday after more than two years of working from home. Unfortunately, he had lost the ability to hide his facial expressions when talking to idiots and was subsequently fired.

According to sources, Businesberg received a formal reprimand from his manager because he rolled his eyes when the CEO said sales weren't that bad. Then, he was admonished again because he made an obscene gesture when the VP of Sales tried to blame everything on his subordinates.

"I'm sorry, James," said Sales VP Adam Gold. "Do you have something to add?"

"No, I'm good," Businesberg reportedly said, right before loudly sighing and powering on his Nintendo Switch to look for legendary Pokémon.

Businesberg was escorted out of the building later that morning after failing to correct his behavior.

"We tried to be patient with him," said CEO Donald Rug. "But he just kept asking the IT guy how to mute everybody."

Experts suggest returning to a physical office after years of working remotely can be an abrupt change for many. Their recommendation is to abandon real life entirely and jack your employees into the Metaverse.


Satan held a press conference today responding to the big loss of Roe v. Wade. He's doing his best to keep his chin up.

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