BLOOMINGTON, IN — One local man had the unenviable task of ruining his child's day, as he sadly informed his son after watching Return of the Jedi that they never made any more Star Wars movies.
Jeff Bailey reluctantly broke the news to his young son, Hayden, that George Lucas permanently retired from filmmaking after Return of the Jedi and never, ever wrote, directed, or gave his blessing to anyone else to create any other Star Wars movies ever again.
"I'm sorry, son, that's the end of the story," Bailey told his son. "I know you want to know what happened to Luke, Han, Leia, and the rest of the characters after the Empire was defeated, or you might be wondering about what happened before A New Hope and how the Empire came to be or how Anakin Skywalker became Darth Vader, but there just weren't any other Star Wars movies made. Ever."
Young Hayden Bailey was surprised but understanding upon hearing the disappointing news. "Wow, that just seems so unlikely, Dad," he said. "I mean, it's such a popular intellectual property. I would've thought they could've easily continued the story with very little chance of ruining it. Are you sure they didn't make any more?"
"None," Jeff replied. "Zero. Especially not any about interplanetary trade disputes. And they absolutely did not continue the story with a female protagonist who cheapens everything the original characters did and destroys the entire franchise with lazy writing and poorly developed characters. They didn't."
At publishing time, Jeff Bailey told Hayden that they could hold out hope someday that a sequel would one day be made to the great standalone film, The Matrix.
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