BATON ROUGE, LA — Reports from the Fisher household stated that Michael Fisher, a 58-year-old Christian father, was recently stumped while wondering whether he was growing in holiness as he aged or just becoming too tired to sin.

Michael reportedly began pondering the process of his own sanctification shortly after he wanted to get up from the couch to gluttonize an entire bag of sea salt and vinegar Ruffles, but decided to not indulge his fleshly appetites because it was just too hard.

"I realized — maybe I'm being conformed to the image of Christ here," Michael recalled, musing over the goodness of God's sustaining grace. "But I had to wonder — maybe I'm just too tired for this whole sinning business after all. I mean, it takes so much energy, you know? You've actually got to get up and do stuff like anger or greed or whatever and it's like who's got time for all that noise anyway?"

While Michael allegedly also considered the possibility that his laziness was canceling out his gluttonous tendencies, he ultimately decided that it was better to not worry about it and rest in God's mercy instead.

"I mean, maybe God is using my constant fatigue, back problems, and short attention span to keep me from sin, you know?" Michael asked. "God moves in mysterious ways, you know. Maybe this whole getting old and taking daily naps isn't such a bad thing after all."

At publishing time, Michael had been further kept from sin by the power of the Holy Spirit after he was tempted to argue with his wife but realized that it would be too much trouble anyway.

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