BELLEVUE, WA — According to sources, local man Dave Monson is really hoping the end of the world holds out a few more weeks so he can get a chance to first watch Dune: Part Two.

"The last one came out three years ago and I've been waiting and waiting," Monson told friends. "A lot is going on right now…Russian space nukes, Gaza stuff, a president with the mental capacity of a washcloth. We just need to hold off the imminent doom of Western civilization until March 1. I have tickets for the midnight showing. After that, whatever. At least I'll have seen the movie."

Like many Americans, Monson has been waiting patiently for the second installment of Director Denis Villeneuve's film adaptation of the popular sci-fi book of the same name. Part one came out in 2021. The release of the story's conclusion has been met with delays and a few setbacks, putting fans on edge.

"It would be so unfair if we all died in a nuclear blast or some type of chemical attack just weeks before the release," Monson went on. "I mean, it just cut off in the middle of the story, Paul had just met Chani in real life, we're out in the desert…I need closure!"

As of publishing time, Monson had wished for the end of the world to be delayed even further so that in 3 years he could see Dune: Part Three.

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