LOUISVILLE, KY — Local husband Brandon Wilson was struck by the dark hand of despair today as he once again got the weird feeling that his wife Stephanie was comparing him to Boaz.
According to sources close to Brandon, the trouble started shortly after his wife started reading through the book of Ruth. He could not help but noticing that thereafter, whenever he failed to wash the dishes or fix a leaky faucet, Stephanie would walk away muttering something about Boaz.
"Aw man, she's got that look in her eyes again," sighed Brandon. "So Boaz was probably super ripped, generous, charitable, successful, manly, and, um... I'm starting to see her point."
According to Stephanie, she does not expect her husband to be "full-on Boaz" but would like to see him spreading the tails of his robe over her more often. "I just wish he would once in a while instruct his employees to leave grain out for me to glean in the front yard," sighed Stephanie. "I'm not asking much."
At publishing time, Brandon had once again awoken to the sight of his wife laying down in bed by his feet.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
