RENO, NV—According to sources, local taxpayer Brad Chuckston just finished preparing his taxes and is looking forward to a large refund after claiming $1 million in "unrealized charitable donations."
"So... I haven't exactly given away any money to charity this year, that's why it's unrealized," said Chuckston. "I fully intend to give maybe a million or so to charity at some point over my lifetime, or maybe my kids will. But I think I'm going to go ahead and claim the exemptions for all of it right now!"
Tax experts said they're not sure if claiming unrealized donations is legal, but admitted it's all very confusing, as the government is printing fake money and taxing nonexistent profits and nothing is real anymore.
President Biden, responding to the situation, said, "Come on, man! You can't do that! Someone's gotta pay for my totally free Back Build Butter plan! I'm gonna get that money, Jack, and you can't stop me unless you have some F-15s or maybe some nukes!"
The IRS has responded by sending Chuckston a tax bill for the unrealized income from that movie script he wrote but never sold.
Chris Smitherson has a problem: he's unvaccinated -- which means he's left out of all activities as he doesn't have COVID like his vaccinated friends. Thoughts and prayers.