ROCKPORT, TX — Local man Jake Minter confirmed that he had now entered his 10th consecutive year of replying to every single text with only a single thumbs-up emoji.
The streak carried on its decade-long run this morning when Minter's wife texted to ask how their son's appendix surgery went, to which Minter replied with the standard yellow thumb.
"He's committed," said brother-in-law Stephen Garner. "When the family asked how the birth of their baby went — thumbs up. I asked how he was handling the loss of his dad — thumbs up. For Jake, that little thumbs says it all. Literally."
According to Minter, he never intended to go 10 years only responding to texts with a thumbs up. "It just happened. I only realized maybe three years in that I hadn't typed any words," said Minter. "By that point, I'd realized that the thumb expressed all that I had to say. There was just no need for anything else, and I don't see why that would change. It's a way of life now."
At publishing time, a review of Minter's text thread with his best friend had shown only the exchange of thumbs-ups for the last five years.
Behold! Woke Jesus is teaching when the Pharisees bring to him a woman caught in adultery. Listen and learn from this cherished Bible story about how Woke Jesus turned to intersectionality.
