UNITED STATES — Do you feel like you are playing life on hard mode now that gas is $5 a gallon on average across the nation? Experts are now recommending you to try this one simple life hack: go buy one of those cars with two steamroller wheels made out of stone and push it with your feet!
After war and economic uncertainty have caused gas prices to spike, many drivers have realized that modern life is just getting too expensive. This affordability crisis is affecting every household, but financial experts say that getting a foot-powered steamroller-wheeled vehicle may be just the ticket to a better financial outlook for many families.
"Americans struggling at the gas pump can just say no," said Mr. Slate from the American Flintmobile Association. "Many members have called to tell me they are saving $400 a month or even more in gasoline alone after making the switch and with AFA's special membership offer, not only can everyone get roadside assistance but also have access to super-affordable insurance for all their stone wheeled vehicles."
"I can't believe I didn't think of this sooner," said Wilma, a mom of 3. "We were spending hundreds of dollars a month on gasoline, what with hauling the kids to school, music lessons, and all their soccer practices and games."
"Now I am saving 100% on gas by just pushing the car myself! My legs are buff now and we have a lot more money to take the whole family out for bronto burgers and ribs at the drive-in!"
At publishing time, the Bedrock Motor Company saw stocks soar 3,237% after millions of Americans have made the switch already to its patented model Flintmobile.
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