JERICHO — Archeologists announced Thursday that they have unearthed a cache of ancient vuvuzelas, believed to have been the "trumpets" used by the Israelites during the collapse of Jericho's walls.
Audible gasps were heard as the dig team uncovered the multi-colored torture device, its horrors confirmed as a grad student blew into the mouthpiece, producing the infamous drone.
"For centuries, we believed that the Israelites had blown rams' horns. The truth is so much worse," said lead archaeologist Dr. Eli Ben-David. "The wrath of the Lord is indeed a terrible thing to consider. After seven straight days of the vuvuzelas, the crumbling of the walls was frankly merciful."
One partially preserved scroll recovered near the site appears to contain eyewitness testimony from a Jericho resident. Translated fragments reportedly read: "The droning is without end," followed by, "Please tell Rahab we were wrong," and finally, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA."
At publishing time, the dig team had decided to bury the vuvuzela back in the ground for the sake of all humanity.
