Kid Outed As Homeschooler After Looking Adult In The Eyes While Talking

Life · Mar 30, 2025 · BabylonBee.com
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PLANO, TX — Local seven-year-old Benjamin Gunther was outed as a homeschooler after he looked an adult directly in the eyes while speaking in complete sentences.

The incident occurred at a barber shop, when the barber called him back for his haircut and asked if the girls with him were both his sisters.

"Nice to meet you, sir. Yes sir, these are my sisters," responded Gunther, looking at the adult's eyeballs. "This is Katelyn, and this is Isabella. How is your day?"

The adult in question, 45-year-old Mark Livingston, stood rooted to the ground, gaping in awe. "What just happened?" he wondered. "Did he... did he look me in the eyes while talking? Did he respond to my question, and then proceed to make real conversation? And in a respectful manner? Is he one of those homeschoolers I hear about??"

At publishing time, Livingston had confirmed that Gunther was indeed a homeschooler after listening to him spend the next twenty minutes having a Socratic dialogue in Latin with his ten-year-old brother.


Mission accomplished: Satan has just confirmed that Jesus of Nazareth was crucified and will never be coming back.