WASHINGTON, D.C. - According to sources familiar with her family, Ketanji Brown Jackson threw the game Guess Who across the living room in confused frustration after losing for the 140th consecutive time.
Witnesses claim Brown Jackson continued to grow more and more frustrated after her opponents would ask nonsensical questions like "Is your person a woman?" and "Is your person a man?"
"How do you keep beating me? You're cheating!" yelled Jackson at her seven-year-old niece after losing count at how many times the pigtailed girl had crushed her. "I beg of you, reveal to me the secrets you harbor that allow you to differentiate between the pictures with such ease."
The U.S. Supreme Court nominee then picked up her phone and vented her frustration in the form of a Twitter rant, expressing her frustration at how such a cryptic and perplexing game could be so popular among young children for decades.
After reading the replies from thoughtful Twitter followers, Jackson was reassured to know there were thousands just like her who felt the game of Guess Who? unfairly confounded players of a very specific political and ideological persuasion.
At publishing time, Jackson had lost her 97th consecutive game of Connect Four due to her inability to understand that 2 + 2 = 4.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
