The moment everyone has been waiting for has almost arrived, with Donald Trump and Kamala Harris set to debate each other tomorrow night. While it's commonplace for political candidates to make specific demands before participating in a debate, Kamala's list of demands has not been revealed — until now.
The Babylon Bee has exclusively obtained the following list of demands made by the Harris campaign prior to tomorrow's debate:
Only questions about what kind of spices she uses when cooking: This is the type of thing Americans want to hear.
Moderators must respond to all of Kamala's answers with "you KNOW das right" or "guuuuuurl, say it!": Conversely, all of Trump's answers must be met with boos and hisses.
The debate is to be held 3 hours before air time and edited down to her best 7 minutes: It's standard practice with all Kamala Harris public appearances.
She will be awarded extra points for each accent she uses: Being multi-lingual should have its advantages.
Trump will be docked speaking time for being white and male: Plus, he's wealthy, so he's lucky to even be allowed to speak at all.
Jamaal Bowman must be stationed by the fire alarm: Just in case things aren't going Kamala's way.
She must be given the opportunity to sleep with the moderator the night before: Kamala always has to have her secret weapon up her sleeve.
While Kamala drives a hard bargain, it's plain to see that the viewing public is in for quite a treat tomorrow night — especially once everything Trump says is edited out.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
