Politics
Biden Leads Democrats In Pledge Of Allegiance To 'One Nation Under, You Know, The Thing'

WILMINGTON, DE—During the last night of the Democratic National Convention, presidential nominee Joe Biden proudly led his fellow Democrats in the pledge of allegiance to "one nation under, you know, the thing."

"I pledge allegiance to the flag of the, uh... United States of... what? America?" he began, squinting as he tried to read the teleprompter. "And to the Republic? Wait, that can't be right. That's from Star Wars. Or was it Flash Gordon?"

Biden quickly got back on track, continuing, "For which it stands, one nation, under, you know, the thing, invisible, with liberty and justice for all."

The media praised Biden for getting the last six words right, saying he looked extremely coherent, confident, and presidential.

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