U.S. — Trump's official VP pick JD Vance was horrified today after learning he will now have to communicate with voters on Truth Social.
"Listen, I'm honored to be chosen to run alongside Donald Trump, but I really wish someone had told me about this before I said 'yes,'" said a visibly shaken Vance. "Do I really have to use Truth Social now? I didn't think that was part of the deal."
"I'm not sure I can go through with this."
In a statement on Truth Social, Donald Trump confirmed: "Yes, JD Vance, but I just call him JD, and he calls me DJ by the way, will be my Vice President. So tremendous, probably the greatest VP pick ever made. So much better than Nasty Mike Pence. And he will soon make a statement on the greatest social media platform of all time, Truth Social. This will make the stock go through the roof. We may even beat Twitter. It's gonna be incredible."
Vance is reportedly speaking with advisors to see if it's possible to back out of the decision. "Listen, I don't think I can go through with this," he was overheard saying. "I'll campaign with Trump and face deadly assassins for 4 months, but please, don't ask me to use Truth Social. Please, I beg you." Sources say Vance then broke down and began crying.
At publishing time, Vance had confirmed he was still in the race but was on the hunt for an intern who would be willing to post on Truth Social for him.
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