BURBANK, CA - Disney employees have decided to express their frustration with recent Florida "anti-LGBTQIIA+" legislation by making changes to their next Toy Story film. Now, when the parents leave, the toys will come to life, but only in front of the kids to teach them about gay sex.
"Looks like the coast is clear!" said Slinky Dog, springing to life. "Time to teach Andy about gay sex, trans ideology, and sexual orientation."
"You heard him, everybody, now giddy up!" hollered Woody. "We don't know how much time we'll have to say the word 'GAY' until his parents come back."
According to sources, Andy was confused and overwhelmed not only to see his toys moving and talking but to hear them say such strange, queer things. "Woah, slow down a second guys, I'm just a kid I don't need to be hearing about this," said Andy as all his toys lectured him on pronouns and gender identity. "How many genders are we counting to, anyway?"
"To infinity and beyond!" roared Buzz Lightyear. "Now Andy, come let us tell you about what happens when two space rangers love each other very much."
At publishing time Mr. Potato Head was demonstrating how easy it is for Andy to change his gender whenever he feels like it until he was interrupted. Hamm & Lenney the binoculars spotted Andy's parents coming back, forcing the toys to all play dead.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
