U.S. — After urging from environmental activists, the World Economic Forum, and Bill Nye the Science Guy, Arby's has changed its slogan to "We Have The Bugs."
"We felt it was time for us to shed our archaic, meat-centric image and promote a more environmentally-friendly cuisine," said Samber Rothborg, the new Chief Diversity Officer for Arby's. "It's important that we acknowledge our shameful past while charting a course forward into a more sustainable future for all of us." Rothborg's eyes then glazed over and she seemed to shut down like an android.
Arby's will now offer roast mealworms, roast crickets, and roast Pfizer mRNA protein cubes instead of their traditional offering of delicious food. Climate experts agree this move could contribute to a 0.0000000000003 degree global temperature drop within 52 trillion years. "Vee are pvoud of ze steps Arby's iz takink to save ze planet," said WEF Chairman Klaus Schwab.
At publishing time, Burger King had announced they were changing their slogan from "You Rule" to "Easily Digestible Protein Sources Such As Fried Grasshoppers Rule."
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
