CAMAS, WA — A foolish man offered a solution to a problem his wife was having Sunday evening in an ongoing series of unforced errors.
Jeff Meyers interrupted his wife Rachel as she described an issue she had with her sister and audaciously posited she "call her up and talk it over."
His suggestion was met with a blank stare.
"I can't believe he offered a practical solution to this ongoing problem I've been having," Rachel said. "Call up my sister and tell her what I was feeling? Who does he think I am, someone who calls up her sister and tells her what she's feeling?"
Jeff claims he was only trying to be helpful and didn't realize offering to help solve a problem was a problem. He recommitted to trying harder not to provide practical solutions to issues his wife is having, unless she wants him to, in which case he'll do his best to discern in the moment what course of action is best to take.
"I think I'm getting the hang of this," Jeff said without confidence. "Fifteen years in, I still forget not to make suggestions when Rachel brings me a problem she's dealing with. I mean, I want to help, but sometimes not offering to help is the best way to help. Except when it's not..."
At press time, Rachel told Jeff not to worry about it and quietly made a mental note of the infraction to pull out in a discussion in three years.
Here is a comprehensive list of the only instances it is acceptable for men to shed a tear.