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The beloved Sesame Street character Big Bird is finally doing what he was born to do: sell pharmaceutical products to small children! After his resounding success in selling a Pfizer vaccine, here are 10 more exciting Big Bird product endorsements PBS is planning:
1) The brand new cereal Pfizer-O's: Every bowl is the equivalent of one additional COVID booster. The FDA says it's a balanced part of your complete breakfast! Cool!
2) Pfizer's watermelon flavored puberty blocker chewables: change your gender without sacrificing taste.
3) Lead finger-paint set: This is a great way to boost your child's immunity to lead poisoning. Made in China.
4) Communist Manifesto: Illustrated Children's Edition: It's never too early to introduce your kids to the greatest political ideology on earth. A great alternative to Tuttle Twins books.
5) Fisher Price's My First Pregnancy Test: They even come in pink and blue, depending on whether your pregnant child is a man or a woman!
6) Waterboarding kit: A great way for kids to learn how we treat enemies of the state.
7) COVID Heroes Trading Cards: Fauci, Whitmer, Newsom... collect 'em all!
8) Injectable sugar: a great way to boost your energy on the go!
9) Afghanistan withdrawal Lego set: Reenact Biden's heroic withdrawal from Afghanistan, and decide who gets left behind!
10) A government-issued satellite phone for reporting your parents to the state: Don't let them get away with mask violations on your watch!
NOT SATIRE: Don't let Joe Biden or Big Bird raise America's kids! And certainly don't let them provide medical treatment or teach them socialism. Instead, let's teach America's youth with the Tuttle Twins!
The Tuttle Twins children's book series is teaching the rising generation about the ideas of freedom, free markets, individual responsibility, and American history.
My goal is to distribute an additional 10,000 copies of the Tuttle Twins before the end of the year. It costs roughly $10 to distribute one copy of the Tuttle Twins to a family.
Thank you,
Connor Boyack
Author, Tuttle Twins
P.S. Don't let Biden or Big Bird take over educating America's rising generation. Help the Tuttle Twins reach our goal!
