Politics
Hardcore Trump Supporter Destroys His Own Mailbox

PIERRE, SD—Local Trump supporter Clyde Anderson took a brave stand against mail-in voting today when he removed his family’s mailbox and threw it right in the trash. 

“I don’t need no mailbox,” Anderson exclaimed. “It’s just another way for Democrats to rig the election. Come around here and try to mail in fake ballots; not on my block!”

The removal caught the attention of a few neighbors, who have since gone ahead and removed their mailboxes too. At publishing time just one mailbox remained standing on the Andersons’ block. It is unclear whether the owner of the mailbox is a principled progressive or a Biden supporter. Possibly the homeowner just doesn’t do politics.

The Anderson family has done well without a mailbox so far, and even plans to open up a PO box downtown to support the failing post office.     

“I’m really going to miss that mailbox,” Anderson’s wife admitted. “I’ll never see another Walmart ad, never get another calendar from our realtor, and worst of all, never again will I receive the previous owner of this home’s mail. Oh Ron, he gets a lot of good mail.”  

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