BERKELEY, CA — Hot on the heels of its highly publicized television performance on New Year's Eve, the pop-punk band Green Day announced the release of an edgy new album titled Get the Vaccine, Climate Change Is Real, and Trump Is Bad.
"Nothing captures the spirit of punk rock like unquestioningly obeying the government," said the band's guitarist and lead vocalist Billie Joe Armstrong. "We want a new generation of music fans to show their individuality, be whoever they want to be, and strictly adhere to the narrative fed to them by people in positions of power."
The album will feature the following upcoming singles:
"Inflation Isn't That Bad"
"You're a Basket Case if You Vote for Trump"
"21 Guns That Should Be Confiscated by the Government to Prevent Gun Violence"
"Wake Me Up When The Trump Presidency Ends"
"Boulevard of Greta Thunberg's Broken Dreams Because of Climate Change"
"When I Come Around and Finally Learn to Listen to CDC Health Guidelines"
"Anti-Vax Idiot"
"Welcome to Paradise (Thanks to Biden's Excellent Work on the Economy)"
"Respect Authority and Eat Your Vegetables"
The band hopes the new album will serve as a renaissance of sorts. "We really wanted to get back to our roots," said bass guitarist and founding band member Mike Dirnt. "We've had a long run in the music business and achieved a lot, but before we're done, we want to reignite a passion for doing what we're told and trusting the federal government. Joe Biden rocks! WOOOOOOOOO!"
The band was expected to make an announcement for dates and cities for their upcoming "Stay in School and Follow the Rules" 2024 concert tour in the coming weeks. "We're excited to announce our tour dates," Armstrong said. "As soon as the government tells us it's ok."
At publishing time, people across the United States and worldwide had reported being shocked to discover Green Day still exists.
Kamala Harris is out of a job, but luckily we've got ten great career options just for her.
