NEW YORK, NY — Mayor Zohran Mamdani assured citizens today that a photo ID would not be needed to shop at government-run grocery stores, stating all that would be required is a special mark on the right hand or forehead.
The mark, which will be permanently etched onto each person by the government, will be necessary for the buying and selling of all goods.
"Please, do not worry. No one was suggesting that you would need a photo ID. Everyone will be allowed in these government stores... provided you have the mark," explained Mamdani. "You can all relax. We will only be having each person tattooed with some sort of number that allows you to participate in the economy. It's not a big deal."
Though many felt relieved by the news of not needing a photo ID, some concerned Americans pointed out that a permanent mark on the right hand or forehead allowing participation in the economy sounded an awful lot like the mark described in the book of Revelation. City officials, however, flatly denied the allegations. "That's ridiculous," said city spokesperson Alicia Mason. "This has nothing to do with any 'beast.' It is merely a mandatory government-issued economic participation identifier permanently engraved onto your body. Totally different."
At publishing time, Mamdani had clarified that people who declined the mark would be subject to execution.
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