MODESTO, CA - Kathleen Johns became stranded on the side of Highway 132 after her car's engine mysteriously gave out. Sources familiar with the incident claim she popped the hood of her car and stared blankly at the engine for several minutes before being rescued by a passing motorist. The good samaritan pulled over to help the stranded woman stare in total confusion at her engine.
"Looks like it isn't working," said Gary Poste, a Vallejo native. "Have you tried turning it on?"
The pair reportedly stared at the car engine for several minutes in silence, each taking turns shrugging.
"Well, I hate to leave you like this," said Poste. "But I don't know."
"Yeah, I don't know," Johns replied.
They continued to stare at the silent plastic cover and all the strange-looking gizmos surrounding the engine.
Neither individual had a cell signal or mechanical experience. The good Samaritan checked the oil because it was something he could do. The engine, however, did not suddenly start working.
"Maybe it's the battery?" asked Johns.
"Maybe," Poste replied.
The pair nodded and stared at the battery but didn't know what to do with it.
Fortunately, the pair was rescued from the awkward moment when another motorist pulled over, looked at the car for ten seconds, and suggested checking the fuel.
Satan held a press conference today responding to the big loss of Roe v. Wade. He's doing his best to keep his chin up.