BARI, ITALY — The heads of state gathered in Italy for the G7 summit have decided to go ahead and officially change the name to "G6" after President Biden wandered off again.
"Welp, there goes number seven," said Italian Prime Minister Giorgia Meloni, watching as Biden meandered off into a forest. "Let's just go down to six nations, guys... I'm so tired of fetching him."
According to sources present, the other world leaders quickly ratified the proposal. "We've spent so much time chasing Biden down, we've barely been able to get anything done," complained German chancellor Olaf Scholz. "Also, he spent half the last meeting trying to talk to Willhelm the Second. He just doesn't bring much to the table other than ice cream. I will miss the ice cream."
Biden was reportedly furious at being kicked out of the Group of Seven, demanding immediate reinstatement. "Listen here, bub! I built these seven nations with my bare hands! I drove an eighteen-wheeler!" screamed Biden. "You think you can kick me out? I'll kick you out! I'll fight you all, right here, right now! Let's go!"
Unfortunately, Biden's speech fell on deaf ears as he was addressing a small pack of wild dogs.
At publishing time, Italian authorities had issued a missing person report after Biden had again wandered off declaring he was, "off to fight the Matterhorn".
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
