WACO, TX — A local fundamentalist church announced a new theme for VBS that was attracting a lot of attention in the community: "Demons Are Out To Get You."
Vacation Bible School is a week-long event designed to get kids engaged with God's Word through fun special activities. This year, Brimstone Bible Church decided to try VBS out for the first time in its history with an exciting new theme about demons hunting and devouring children's souls.
"Demons are out to get you!" said Pastor Steve Wiles.
Church moms were reportedly putting in long hours preparing murals of demons consuming humans and creating custom demonic felt figures for the classes' flannel graphs.
"It's going to be an exciting time," said Nancy Anderson, who teaches the third grade Bible class. "I spent all night making cardboard cutouts of an imp. I really think our kids are going to love it."
The program has generated a mixed response from parents:
One mother reportedly said, "I am not enrolling my kids in VBS this year. Goodness!" while another echoed this sentiment, saying, "Can't they just do a cool jungle theme? Demons are a bit much." Still, other members were supportive. Old man Jasper Renfroe, who has no children, said, "Kids need to read the Lesser Key of Solomon and then burn it in the pyre. It's the only way to make learning fun."
In contrast with their parents, however, the church's children remained united on the fact they wanted to avoid VBS like the plague. "I want to go home!" said little Andy James, 4.
Benjamin Mittles, a deacon overseeing the "Demons Are Out To Get You" VBS adventure, said that this was bound to be the most informative VBS ever conceived. "By the end of this week, kids will know how to rebuke a demon who enters their mouth through guitar music," he said. "If they don't, a demon will tear their soul apart."
At publishing time, children who did not sign up to attend Brimstone Bible Church's VBS event had been marked as erring brethren and disfellowshipped.
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