ALBANY, NY — Lawmakers in New York have taken action to ban the use of gas stoves in residential buildings after newly discovered footage revealed a gas stove participating in the January 6, 2021 U.S. Capitol Building riot.
"We have to root out this type of extremism wherever we find it," said New York Governor Kathy Hochul. "These types of stoves not only cause damage to our environment but we now have proof that they stand with enemies of the United States. These stoves must be banned to save our planet and democracy itself."
The footage which was shown only to elected officials and subsequently sealed from public release, reportedly shows a gas stove wearing a buffalo hat, waving an American flag, and entering the Capitol with other alleged insurrectionists. "This particular gas stove has been identified," said Governor Hochul. "It is now in federal custody and on its way to being detained in solitary confinement along with its co-conspirators. Other stoves like it have been banned here in the state of New York to prevent the spread of violent extremism."
Former President Donald Trump quickly voiced support for the imprisoned gas stove. "This beautiful, shiny, incredible stove has been wrongfully accused," Trump said in a post to his Truth Social account. "The stove was following my directions to PEACEFULLY and PATRIOTICALLY make its voice heard. Now, gas stoves are being banned in New York City. WITCH HUNT!"
At publishing time, country music artist Toby Keith had already released a new song titled "Free the Stoves" that was rocketing up the iTunes chart.
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