MARS — In what scientists called the most significant discovery in the history of space exploration, the first astronauts to touch down on the Red Planet were greeted on Friday by two young men in short-sleeved white dress shirts and black name tags.
Rick Armstrong, commander of the secret NASA and SpaceX joint mission, reported that the hatch of the landing module had barely popped open before Elders Smith and Young were standing outside the ship to offer the crew a copy of the Book of Mormon and a free basketball tournament invite.
"Hello there!" Elder Young said brightly. "Have you heard of the restored Gospel of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ? And would you like a copy of a free book, and perhaps to play a little two-on-two pickup?"
Armstrong expressed surprise at seeing the two clean-cut young men standing on Mars without any sign as to how they had gotten there. When questioned, the men deflected the query and asked if they'd like to come to church on Sunday.
"Don't worry about it," Elder Smith said. "So anyway, please come worship with us at our church building this Sunday, just over there near the Jezero Crater. We have a growing congregation here on Mars, and we'd love to have you and your family join!"
At publishing time, the astronauts were also greeted by Jehovah's Witnesses but were able to fend them off by offering the Kingdom Hall attendees blood transfusions.
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