Fellow Pop-Tarts Gather To Bow Down Before Preeminent Brown Sugar Pop-Tarts

Life · Jan 17, 2026 · BabylonBee.com
Image for article: Fellow Pop-Tarts Gather To Bow Down Before Preeminent Brown Sugar Pop-Tarts

BROKEN BOW, OK — In a beautiful scene, fellow Pop-Tarts gathered on a kitchen table this morning to bow down and pay homage to a box of Brown Sugar Cinnamon, undisputed king of the Pop-Tarts.

The preeminent yet humble Brown Sugar Cinnamon graciously welcomed the lesser pastries with warmth and grace.

"All hail Brown Sugar!" cried the other Pop-Tarts, bowing low in his glorious presence. "We are but feeble crumbs before you. Long live the King!"

Brown Sugar Cinnamon gave a courteous nod, before beckoning to his rectangular compatriots. "Rise, friends," said Brown Sugar Cinnamon. "Though it has been granted me to be foremost of the Pop-Tarts, we are all family. Do we not all fall and rise from the toaster the same?Each of us has a part to play, even Wild Berry."

At publishing time, Brown Sugar Cinnamon had declared unfrosted Pop-Tarts anathema and banished them from the cupboard.


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