FBI Wondering If Swearing Allegiance To ISIS Might Be Slight Red Flag

Crime · Mar 14, 2026 · BabylonBee.com
Image for article: FBI Wondering If Swearing Allegiance To ISIS Might Be Slight Red Flag

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In the wake of another domestic terrorist attack this past week at Old Dominion, the FBI began wondering if perhaps a person swearing allegiance to ISIS might be a sort of red flag.

As the FBI combed the shooting scene for evidence, agents began to consider whether the attacker's previous criminal conviction for supporting ISIS may be a clue.

"It seems the attacker had already planned an ISIS attack years ago that was thwarted. Just maybe, that was a warning that he might do something like this," said FBI agent Thomas Warner. "It makes me wonder if openly supporting terrorists and planning mass murder is one of those things we should flag. Like, maybe we shouldn't have allowed him early prison release, or shouldn't have let him back into society without someone checking in on him. It's something to consider."

According to internal sources, FBI brass will consider adding "trying to murder lots of people for ISIS" to its list of red flags. "We will give it some real thought," said FBI Director Kash Patel. "It's just not something we have ever considered. We will need to go back and look at the behavior of people who swear allegiance to ISIS, really drill down into whether this is something we should be concerned about."

At publishing time, the FBI had decided to forego tracking ISIS supporters in favor of tracking people who attend Latin Mass.


Do you think you can guess which one is the terrorist?