SPARTANBURG, SC — After months of anticipation, the Johnson family finally left for vacation this morning, eager to see what urgent cares look like across the country.
"Sometimes you need to just get away and see what other healthcare facilities are out there to address our children's countless injuries," said Mr. Johnson as he loaded up his children. "It's easy to get stuck in a rut going to the same old MedExpress up the street."
"Hey, kids! Does everybody have their insurance cards?"
Between their son being a remarkable klutz and their daughter having asthma, the Johnsons have settled into a routine of paying 40% of their monthly earnings to urgent care. "We've seriously thought about selling our home and just going to live at urgent care full time," said Mrs. Johnson. "Those people have become like a second family. Still, I've always wanted to go to Boston and see what 24-hour express care is like in the Northeast."
The last Johnson family vacation had been for a ski trip in the Appalachian Mountains, during which their daughter broke out in hives and began projectile vomiting while hurtling down the mountain at 30 miles per hour. Mr. Johnson stepped to help his daughter, only to witness his son ski directly into a tree. "The ski trip was a great success," recalled Mr. Johnson. "For us to even make it to the slopes and get fifteen minutes of skiing in before catastrophe struck, that's a huge win."
At publishing time, the Johnsons reported that "CarePlus Boston" was top-notch at setting broken fibulas, though the decor left something to be desired.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
