ATLANTA, GA — As the Glennon family walked into church for Easter service today, they were caught off guard by how different the church looked without Christmas decorations.
"I remember it having more of a red and green vibe," said Mrs. Glennon, surveying the sanctuary. "And wasn't there a tree? I was sure I saw a tree."
Without the presence of poinsettias, holly, and a nativity scene, the Glennons briefly wondered if they had gone to the wrong church. "I don't remember any of this," said Mr. Glennon. "Were there always so many crosses in here? Did we wander into a Lutheran church by accident? Oh boy."
After the sight of old friends reassured the Glennons they were in the right place, the children began asking questions as well. "Daddy, how did the baby in a manger end up on the cross so fast?" asked Caitlyn. "Was he just a really bad baby? And what made all the red flowers in the church turn white?"
At publishing time this morning, to Mr. Glennon's incredible shock, he found during Easter his heart pierced through for the first time by the love of Jesus Christ, so imperfectly expressed through the Body of Christ - and something in Mr. Glennon's hollowed existence of apathetic self-soothing gave way to a sincere reckoning with sin, grace, and repentance.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
