ISLAMABAD — Amid ongoing reports that Iran had broken an expected two-week ceasefire by failing to sufficiently reopen the Strait of Hormuz, threatening to target vessels who who seek to travel the waters without first coordinating with their armed forces, and firing missiles at five different countries, Iranian envoys meeting with the U.S. expressed embarrassment before finally admitting they had no idea what "ceasefire" actually means.
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"Our translator was sick that day," said Iranian envoy Mohamad Muhamed. "Honest misunderstanding."
However, in spite of reassurances that the Iranians finally understood, Vice President JD Vance, who led an in-person delegation to Islamabad, Pakistan to meet directly with Iranian negotiators, became concerned during peace talks when it appeared negotiators still didn't understand what a "ceasefire" was.
"Cease... fire? Like, no more fire? We need fire to live!" said Parliament Speaker Mohammad Bagher Ghalibaf. "How will we bake our cakes?!"
Vance reportedly explained that they were treating "fire" as a noun rather than a verb, which may be the result of confusion. "You're not supposed to fire at us. You can still make fire," he said.
Though he thought he was being clear, Vance asked negotiators to explain what a ceasefire was in their own words to make sure there was no more confusion and, after eight grueling hours of talks, Iranians finally grasped the concept and promptly rejected it.
At publishing time, a delegation from Israel was also embarrassed to admit they were unclear on what "ceasefire" meant.
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