OAKLAND, CA — A surprising new report indicated that an elderly lesbian throuple seen out for a walk in a local park this week turned out to actually be the musical group Green Day.
The three aging men were suspected of being lesbian women by pretty much everyone who saw them out walking before being identified as the once-popular pop-punk band.
"Oh, those are men?" bystander Cheryl Newman commented. "I thought they were another elderly lesbian throuple out for a stroll in downtown Oakland. We get a lot of those around here."
The three members of the rock group admitted that they had been mistaken for lesbians in a three-way romantic relationship on a regular basis over the last couple of decades.
"Oh yeah, that happens," lead singer Billie Joe Armstrong said. "I don't know if it's our attempt to tenuously maintain a finger-hold on our youth by bleaching and spiking our hair, or the fact that we wear eyeliner and nail polish, or the fact that we all drive Subaru Outbacks, or that we enjoy holding hands together wherever we walk anywhere. But yeah, we're mistaken for old lesbians all the time."
The three men are now in their mid-50s and still perform regularly. Ironically, a sizeable percentage of their live audience is made up of elderly lesbian throuples.
At publishing time, someone had also mistaken British singer/songwriter Rod Stewart as a shockingly lifelike zombie decoration at a local Halloween party.
Liberal Brynnleigh witnesses a communist utopia in action!
