CHICAGO, IL—Local commuter Brandon Bongofritz was pulled over by Chicago city police this morning after being caught using the carpool lane even though he was alone in the car.
"Officer, there must be some kind of misunderstanding," said Bongofritz confidently. "My pronouns are they/them. I'm a two-spirit genderqueer couple trapped in a single body so there are actually two individuals in the car right now. I'll let you off for not understanding this once."
The officer then pulled him out of the car to see if the motorist had been drinking. "Son, I'm not sure what you're talking about, but there is definitely only one person in this automobile right now. I'm gonna have to write you a ticket."
The officer has been put on leave for re-education.
Chicago city council is now considering new carpool rules that will allow commuters with they/them pronouns to use the carpool lane.