SAINT PAUL, MN — An already traumatic incident turned even worse on Sunday, as former CNN personality and apparent left-wing protest ringleader Don Lemon immediately burst into flames upon entering a church.
Chaos erupted during the morning worship service, as Lemon, who entered the building with a mob of belligerent protesters, was engulfed in fire immediately after setting foot in the church building, as horrified parishioners ran for cover.
"He barely set foot in the door before he was on fire," one witness said. "We noticed some loud people wearing black marching into the sanctuary, and we turned around to look at the entrance, and there's Don Lemon on his way in. We always knew he was a bit of a flamer, but this was different."
Other church attendees described the terrifying scene. "Poor guy went up like flash paper," another parishioner said. "I'm pretty sure the only thing I heard him say was, ‘Donald Trump' and then ‘AHHHHHHHHHH!' as he burst into flames. It was really freezing outside, and the door was letting all the cold air in, so the sudden presence of consuming fire was actually pretty welcome, to be honest."
Lemon ran screaming through the aisles of the church before good Samaritans from the congregation took pity on him and smothered him with several choir robes. He was then transported to a local hospital for evaluation and treatment.
At publishing time, a hospital spokesperson said Lemon was resting comfortably and was back to his normal level of flaming.
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