Doctor Cures Long Covid By Telling Patients To Quit Faking It
Health · May 17, 2023 ·

CLEVELAND, OH — A brilliant young doctor with the Cleveland Clinic's Long COVID Care Center has discovered a new cure for the debilitating chronic condition, which involves simply telling patients to stop faking it.

"Ms. Brown, I promise I'll have you cured in no time," said Dr. Gupta to one of his patients. "I know your chronic fatigue and knee pain that were most definitely caused by your COVID diagnosis 3 years ago have made it difficult for you to go to work, so we're going to fix that right now."

"Stop faking it!"

"Wow, I never thought about it that way," said Ms. Brown. "Thanks, Doctor! I suddenly feel like myself again! Yippee!"

Early reports claim Dr. Gupta has treated over 1,200 long-COVID patients in this manner with 98% success. Hospitals from around the world are reportedly sending researchers and physicians to study this cutting-edge method.

At publishing time, Dr. Gupta had been fired by Cleveland Clinic for trying unproven treatments that didn't involve at least one Pfizer product.

Check out Hasbro's latest update to the classic board game "Guess Who?" - now with more genders, inclusion, and fun!* *Fun not guaranteed

Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more tactical instruction

Ready to join the conversation? Subscribe today.

Access comments and our fully-featured social platform.

Sign up Now

You must signup or login to view or post comments on this article.