ANCHORAGE, AK - Bryan and Heather Ginsling were overjoyed to find out they were expecting their first child last year. Finally, early this morning, the time came, and the Ginslings welcomed a healthy, 7 pound, 8 ounce little girl into the world.

Taking Mr. Ginsling aside after the smooth delivery process, the attending physician shook the beaming new father's hand, congratulated him, and handed him the official book of lame jokes all dads are given upon receiving their dad status.

"Congratulations, son," the doctor said. "Stick to the terrible puns, cringe-inducing plays on words, and 'total knee-slappers' in this book, and you'll make a great dad. Remember to always insert a pun into any situation, no matter how serious. Every single thing your kids say, whether it's that they are hungry or thirsty or that they got a haircut, is an opportunity for a classic joke."

"By the way, it's a good thing you guys came in when you did. That baby was... running out of womb!" he added, being a father himself. The two shared a good laugh.

Bryan then headed back into the delivery room and woken mom and baby up to ask them how you get an astronaut's baby to sleep.

"You rock it, of course! Ha! Classic!"

At publishing time, Mrs. Ginsling had been handed a spellbook that granted her mystical powers to see out of the back of her head.