Brought to you by: Upward News
There's no more noble aspiration than that of one day becoming a professional journalist, but many may feel intimidated or unequipped to pursue such an impressive career.
Do you think you have what it takes? Here are nine qualifications needed for a career as a professional journalist.
Burning desire to seek the truth: And if the truth you discover isn't what you were hoping, just come up with something else.
Have an IQ no higher than 45: Any more than that, and CNN won't even consider you.
Be OK working for peanuts: That's not a metaphor, media companies are struggling so much they can't compensate you with money.
Possess an undying desire to rid the world of the evil that is the United States: You can't just allow freedom and democracy to keep running roughshod over the world.
Ability to pass a lie detector test while lying: It's a skill possessed by the greatest reporters.
Willingness to be verbally abused by Donald Trump: Even though most of it is probably true.
Be a hot blonde woman in a tight dress: This tip is specifically for people wanting to work at Fox News.
No actual training in reporting facts: You don't want actual news to get in the way of telling your predetermined story.
Be a registered Democrat: This is the most important one.
If you check all the boxes listed above, you too could be on your way to being part of the greatest threat to America. What other qualifications are required to be a professional journalist? Let us know in the comments.
NOT SATIRE: They're brainwashing kids to hate their parents. To hate America. To hate everything good.
Families are being torn apart every single day.
I know — because I was almost one of those kids.
That's why I built Upward News — the solution. Every morning we deliver uncensored facts in one clear, powerful email.
Facts designed to be shared with your friends, your kids, your church — so your family can get aligned, on the same page, and strong enough to fight back.
Over 140,000 patriots already read it: parents protecting their kids, pastors defending their communities, faith-based Americans who refuse to surrender.
This is a movement. We are breaking the media's narrative machine — and we aren't going away.
You're either in the fight — or you're watching as they win.
One clear email. Uncensored facts. Built to share with friends, kids, your church.
— Ariel David, Founder
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